"When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Give it all up.
Those four simple words still ring in my ears 8 years after first hearing them spoken by the Holy Spirit at a youth group meeting. We were asked to get on our knees and invite the Holy Spirit to speak to us, and I still remember doubting that God would choose to speak to
me, surely there were so many other more righteous and spiritual people to speak to. I didn't doubt God could speak to people, I just doubted that He would speak to
me.
And as these thoughts flitted through my mind's eye like a movie played at triple speed, suddenly those four simple words cut straight through and penetrated my soul. I was stunned. Had God really spoken? And if He did, what did He mean?
A cryptic message, one that I'm still learning to crack in my everyday life. But 8 years on, I'm seeing all the ways in which Christ has been beckoning me, and continues to do so every day.
Our journey with Christ is a step by step process, a continuous call to strip away everything that hinders. The initial call is bold, and our first response is often bold, like Peter who at the Last Supper declared he would rather die with Christ than betray Him.
But as we all know, Peter did end up betraying Christ. And like Peter, there are many times in our spiritual journey when we betray Christ, refusing to let go of our own life, our own safety and comfort, our own desires and dreams.
But Christ does not abandon us.
Boldly, once more, He called to Peter from the shore. This time, at the sound of His Master's voice, Peter jumped in the water, not waiting to row back. There, by the fire, Christ restored Peter to Himself.
Three times He asked him if he loved Him, until finally Peter was hurt by Christ's question.
Do you love Me?
Christ asks us all, again. And again. And again.
Our declaration of love must never cease. Each day anew Christ asks us, 'Do you love Me?'
Do I truly love you Lord? Am I truly willing to give it all up?
As I'm preparing for entering a life of missions, providing that's where God is leading me, I feel this question impressed upon my heart.
Lately I have been convicted of my love of self and my preoccupation with image. I have noticed that there is a certain image I am trying to portray of myself, a group of people that I want to be identified with. I want to be seen as a 'world-conscious' person. I take pride in my international experience, and the fact that I want to help people across the world. There is a certain appeal to missions that involves adventure, living in the rough, associating with the lowly, making a difference, helping the poor, living super-spiritually, etc.
To be sure, these are all good things and it's a good thing people are still being drawn to missions, but I question whether we are truly responding because we are being called by Christ or if it's the appeal of an adventurous life style.
'Do you love
Me?'
One of the most stirring letters in all of the New Testament is, in my opinion, 2nd Corinthians.
In it, Paul pours his heart out to one of his churches, the fruit of his devotion and response to God's call in his life. If you read it in its entirety you are suddenly hit by the emotional weight that the letter carries. Paul's letter is a desperate plea to be loved by those for whom he poured out his life. Yet, despite all he did for them, they did not reciprocate.
To a missionary, this is the ultimate blow. Christ calls, Paul responds and faithfully risks his life and plants a church, and then...they turn their back on him.
In a stirringly poetic portion of the letter, Paul gets carried away as he recounts the countless sacrifices he's made for them:
"We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited.
4 Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses;
5 in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger;
6 in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love;
7 in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;
8 through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors;
9 known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed;
10 sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."
To those who are feeling led to missions, have we counted the cost? Have we answered the question 'Do you love Me?' with complete honesty?
Where are you at?
Are you standing at the shore for the first time hearing Christ's call?
Or is Christ, after so many years and so many betrayals, once more standing at your shore, boldly calling like He did at first?
Wherever you are, "I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation." - 2 Cor. 6:2
Grace and peace,
Zach